Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Once Upon A.......

Here's a little taste from the narratives we are writing based on the image below. How would you finish off these stories??...

The Mahana Forest

By Kalani

Very rarely would anyone dare to venture into the unknown Mahana Forest located on the outskirts of Five Peaks. Locals say the mist that surrounds the lifeless trees never relinquishes its grip. Sitting there all year round. Rumour has it, a ghost dating all the way back to the 17th century haunts the old abandoned house. I once heard that the ghost never wants to be disturbed and the people who wander in, never… ever... come back. I have never ventured into the house, nor would I ever, but a voice keeps telling me to go in…. or else.

Rotten leaves and gravel crunch beneath my feet as I tip-toe along the ancient pathway. I feel the ghost watching me as I breath in the nauseating smell of decomposing ‘who knows what?’. 20 year-old Esther Short had moved into her then freshly built house back in 1739, 5 years before her sudden death at the tender age of 25. Some say it was Rose, but others say it was accidental.
The Lost Soul
By Dawn
Panting, I look around. Towering trees surround me, waving wildly, calling my name as I dash past them. Fallen leaves crunch under my feet. Every sound stings my ears. Losing my way in the misty fog. Blood-curdling wind howls under the dim moonlight sending chills down my spine. In the distance I can barely distinguish the dull lights of an abandoned house. No one dares to step foot on the property, making it the perfect spot for me…

She’s coming. I sense her coming for me, to defeat me, to destroy me. Her red, luscious hair flowing behind her and her confident face but she is not alone, she has companions. A dog who is loyal to her, a boy, John, born abandoned and left in a orphanage, but God only knows why he came with them. A man named Rob is the last of her companions. I can not get the sight of them out of my head, it is the only thing I can see...


  1. Great Job Kalani and Dawn!
    I liked the way both of you guys used a variety of Vocabulary to interest the reader.
    Tino Pai!

  2. Well done Dawn and Kalani!
    I really liked how you used all the different adjectives. The mystery in both writings is very capturing. Next time you could add some similes.

  3. Very spooky word choices! Impressive writing from you both!

  4. i liked how you used simmles

  5. Ohhhhhhhhh☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️������������������������������Those really sent a chill down my spine!KĀ RĀWE!I like how you two pretended you were actually there.Next time try use some more sentence types (simple,compound and complex).